Haves & Have-Nots

Another fun little aspect of pregnancy is dealing with cravings and aversions, or the haves and have-nots!

“To crave and to have are as like as a thing and its shadow. For when does a berry break upon the tongue as sweetly as when one longs to taste it, and when is the taste refracted into so many hues and savors of ripeness and earth, and when do our senses know any thing so utterly as when we lack it? And here again is a foreshadowing -- the world will be made whole. For to wish for a hand on one's hair is all but to feel it. So whatever we may lose, very craving gives it back to us again.”
― Marilynne Robinson, Housekeeping (found on www.goodreads.com.)

"You know quite well, deep within you, that there is only a single magic, a single power, a single salvation...and that is called loving. Well, then, love your suffering. Do not resist it, do not flee from it. It is your aversion that hurts, nothing else."  

Hermann Hesse

"A feeling of aversion or attachment toward something is your clue that there's work to be done."

Ram Dass


When I was pregnant with my daughter, I didn't have very strong cravings or aversions.

One night, my husband and I went out for sushi - this was before I knew I was pregnant, but it was also the night I felt in my heart that I was pregnant.  We went to a little Japanese restaurant.  I ate a huge dinner, packing away teriyaki salmon, rice, salad with ginger dressing, miso soup, edamame, sweet and sour cucumbers, and two different sushi rolls.  I was stuffed.

As soon as the hubbs and I stepped outside, I could smell McDonald's fries.  Yes, there was a Micky D's close by; no, I wasn't going crazy.  I looked at Big M and said, "I want McDonald's fries, and I want them now.  They better be hot, salty, golden brown, and extra crispy."  My heart fluttered after making this request.  I looked at him again with a twinkle in my eyes.  He looked at me and said, "Don't read too much into this."  We'd been trying for two years to get pregnant and had lots of little signs and symptoms that turned into nothing.  But, our hopes were up, once again.  I ordered my fries, the largest size possible, and they were delicious.  Also, they disappeared almost immediately.

Other than the onset of a french fry frenzy, I remember wanting Nerds candy on several occasions, and not wanting my favorite Chinese beef broccoli meal a time or two.  And I never experienced morning sickness during my first pregnancy.  That was the gist.

My second pregnancy has been the complete opposite.  Cravings, aversions, and morning sickness abounded in my first trimester.  I've mostly wanted my mom's homemade spaghetti sauce, and her sweet tea.  And rice krispy treats.  Snap, Crackle, Pop!  My aversions have been much stronger.  I despised cooking onions and garlic - something I normally love.  The slight smell alone would make me sick, even with all of the windows open in our home.  I could no longer eat my favorites such as fajitas or kielbasa sausage and onions.    

I'm hoping my aversions don't come back in my third trimester; life was rough during the first three months of this pregnancy.  Well, at this point, I'm just hoping we make it to the third trimester.

If anything, at least cravings and aversions give you a few stories to tell while carrying your little bundle of joy.  Also, they are one of pregnancy's little reminders that your body is hard at work, making your beautiful baby.