The wild, world of Subchorionic Hematomas: Part 4.
Bed rest is NO JOKE! Especially when one has been glued to the recliner for the last 2 months, and was on pelvic rest the month before that. I am fortunate that I am not completely restricted; I don't have to lie completely flat and I am allowed to get up to go to the bathroom (so thankful I don't have to use a bedpan, and I'm sure my hubby agrees.) Also, I get out of the house to go to my doctor appointments. Other than that, my doctors want me to rest, rest, rest - as laid back as possible. So I have my feet up and I lounge back most of the day.
Showers have become more difficult. Thank goodness I have a shower chair to use! To save time and energy; however, I no longer shave my legs during shower time. AGH! It's a jungle out there! It's just too much though. And ya know what, I almost don't even care anymore, lol. Note, I said ALMOST.
I am grateful for the discovery of electric razors... and my husband's willingness to use one on my stems. He's temporarily joined the forestry service and hacks down the jungle when things are overgrown. Just kidding... it's not quite that bad. He helps me out once a week or so.
In my opinion there are five stages of leg-hair growth: 1. Smooth. 2. Prickly. 3. Fuzzy. 4. Hairy. 5. Manly (totally out of control!) I am happy to say that during this complicated time, Big M has never let me get past stage 3, the fuzzy stage. Thanks babe! You're my hero! You have spared my docs from the sight of hairy legs as well, and I'm sure they are appreciative too.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. Welcome to the jungle, baby. Again, just kidding. We just have to let certain "isms" go.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Depends On Your Outlook
The wild, world of Subchorionic Hematomas: Part 3.
Never thought I would be one who would wear adult diapers in my thirties...
I used to scoff at the idea of all of that paper material bunching around one's bum. Don't get me wrong, I think they serve a valuable purpose for those that need them... I just never thought I would be the one to need them. At least, not now. Not at this stage of my life.
During my monthly cycle, I scoffed at the idea of regular maxi pads. I mean, the discovery of tampons early-on was a God-send. No bunching. No leaking. Move about life as normal. With a pad, or diaper in this case, you feel everything... and I hate it! But it is what must be done. In the beginning of my complicated pregnancy, I tried using the "banana boats." But the ultra-long, super-absorbency pads were no match for my gushers, and I had to resort to using the catch-all diaper.
I no longer scoff at my extra padded tooshie. Life with an adult diaper, depends on your outlook. My pull-ups are my new best friend and have saved me a lot of fanny-related headaches... I'm not completely headache free, but I am able to rest slightly more than usual knowing I won't have a huge mess to clean up along the way.
Also, I treat my fancy, new, paper granny panties as sexy lingerie. I totally rock the pull-up, and my husband agrees. Leaves more to the imagination. He just loves to go out to the "lingerie store" and purchase my new delicates for all of the world to see. He's received a few stares and eye-ball rolls along the way. But when he brings home my new treat, he is all the more willing to help me into the next pair... ready for the next Angel modeling show. So I strut my stuff, hobbled over at times, and we make the best of a tough situation.
Never thought I would be one who would wear adult diapers in my thirties...
I used to scoff at the idea of all of that paper material bunching around one's bum. Don't get me wrong, I think they serve a valuable purpose for those that need them... I just never thought I would be the one to need them. At least, not now. Not at this stage of my life.
During my monthly cycle, I scoffed at the idea of regular maxi pads. I mean, the discovery of tampons early-on was a God-send. No bunching. No leaking. Move about life as normal. With a pad, or diaper in this case, you feel everything... and I hate it! But it is what must be done. In the beginning of my complicated pregnancy, I tried using the "banana boats." But the ultra-long, super-absorbency pads were no match for my gushers, and I had to resort to using the catch-all diaper.
I no longer scoff at my extra padded tooshie. Life with an adult diaper, depends on your outlook. My pull-ups are my new best friend and have saved me a lot of fanny-related headaches... I'm not completely headache free, but I am able to rest slightly more than usual knowing I won't have a huge mess to clean up along the way.
Also, I treat my fancy, new, paper granny panties as sexy lingerie. I totally rock the pull-up, and my husband agrees. Leaves more to the imagination. He just loves to go out to the "lingerie store" and purchase my new delicates for all of the world to see. He's received a few stares and eye-ball rolls along the way. But when he brings home my new treat, he is all the more willing to help me into the next pair... ready for the next Angel modeling show. So I strut my stuff, hobbled over at times, and we make the best of a tough situation.
I'm Sexy And I Know It!
The wild, world of Subchorionic Hematomas: Part 2.
Back in March I went to the hospital for the first time during my complicated pregnancy due to "gushers" that just wouldn't let up. I'd been experiencing active blood loss for nearly a month and a half, but never lost so much so fast. I wasn't in any pain. I wasn't having early contractions. In fact, I wasn't even really cramping. The on-call doc seemed to think I would be okay, but asked me to go to the hospital and check-in to the Triage unit on the Maternal ward so we could check on B2 and make sure he was okay. Gladly, I agreed.
I called my mom in the middle of the night, and she came over to our home to stay with my daughter so Big M and I could go take care of business. We checked-in at midnight, and the long, early hours of the morning stretched out in front of us.
I was a hot mess. I hadn't had a shower all day as I constantly visited that which "contained the Red Sea." My hair was pulled up into a loose, scraggly pony tail, and was all over the place. My legs were unshaved. I rolled in wearing sweats, and changed into the gorgeous designer gown lavished upon me by the couture label known as Hospital (insert little thingy over the "a" to make hospital sound upscale). I was issued my first pair of Depends. Oh yes, this sexy lingerie had my husband's head turning - away from me probably to laugh a little. (I had to!) And of course, as we all know, those fabulous designer gowns are open in the back, making evening wear all the more sexy. Oh, and did I mention my fabulous footwear!?! No, not designer heels, although Jimmy Choos would have been fancy. I sported the super-stylish hospital issued ankle footies - WITH NO-SLIP GRIPPERS!
The nurse hooked me up to all kinds of monitors: fetal monitor, blood pressure monitor, an IV, etc. I was asked all sorts of questions. Later I had two ultrasounds performed. I talked with a goofy doc; he was really quite quirky, but also completely wonderful. Then a new nurse came in to take over my care. I received a wonderful cocktail to lighten the mood - 2 bags of IV fluids to keep me hydrated. Let me just say, those cocktails pack a punch. I was up and down to the bathroom every so often.
Of course, when going to the bathroom in an upscale venue such as the hospital, your entourage loves to accompany you. The nurse held my IV cord and pushed the unit around on rollers for me down the hall. It was like my best girlfriend holding my clutch... and drink.
On the way back from the bathroom, I told my nurse that I was a hot mess. I teased and said, "I should be in one of those 'I'm Sexy and I Know It' videos." I even inserted music and broke down with "da da da da der da-da da-da." She laughed. I laughed. At least I could laugh.
Happily we checked-out of the hospital that morning around 7:30 am, and I was still pregnant. And Little Man was still healthy.
Through my complication, I still try to find the silver lining in my circumstance. If anyone is reading this, I hope you can too. Stay positive and relaxed as best you can. It's best for both you and baby. Laugh too. Laughter is the best medicine. And as my grandmother always said, "This too shall pass." We go through the hard stuff to better appreciate easier times.
Back in March I went to the hospital for the first time during my complicated pregnancy due to "gushers" that just wouldn't let up. I'd been experiencing active blood loss for nearly a month and a half, but never lost so much so fast. I wasn't in any pain. I wasn't having early contractions. In fact, I wasn't even really cramping. The on-call doc seemed to think I would be okay, but asked me to go to the hospital and check-in to the Triage unit on the Maternal ward so we could check on B2 and make sure he was okay. Gladly, I agreed.
I called my mom in the middle of the night, and she came over to our home to stay with my daughter so Big M and I could go take care of business. We checked-in at midnight, and the long, early hours of the morning stretched out in front of us.
I was a hot mess. I hadn't had a shower all day as I constantly visited that which "contained the Red Sea." My hair was pulled up into a loose, scraggly pony tail, and was all over the place. My legs were unshaved. I rolled in wearing sweats, and changed into the gorgeous designer gown lavished upon me by the couture label known as Hospital (insert little thingy over the "a" to make hospital sound upscale). I was issued my first pair of Depends. Oh yes, this sexy lingerie had my husband's head turning - away from me probably to laugh a little. (I had to!) And of course, as we all know, those fabulous designer gowns are open in the back, making evening wear all the more sexy. Oh, and did I mention my fabulous footwear!?! No, not designer heels, although Jimmy Choos would have been fancy. I sported the super-stylish hospital issued ankle footies - WITH NO-SLIP GRIPPERS!
The nurse hooked me up to all kinds of monitors: fetal monitor, blood pressure monitor, an IV, etc. I was asked all sorts of questions. Later I had two ultrasounds performed. I talked with a goofy doc; he was really quite quirky, but also completely wonderful. Then a new nurse came in to take over my care. I received a wonderful cocktail to lighten the mood - 2 bags of IV fluids to keep me hydrated. Let me just say, those cocktails pack a punch. I was up and down to the bathroom every so often.
Of course, when going to the bathroom in an upscale venue such as the hospital, your entourage loves to accompany you. The nurse held my IV cord and pushed the unit around on rollers for me down the hall. It was like my best girlfriend holding my clutch... and drink.
On the way back from the bathroom, I told my nurse that I was a hot mess. I teased and said, "I should be in one of those 'I'm Sexy and I Know It' videos." I even inserted music and broke down with "da da da da der da-da da-da." She laughed. I laughed. At least I could laugh.
Happily we checked-out of the hospital that morning around 7:30 am, and I was still pregnant. And Little Man was still healthy.
Through my complication, I still try to find the silver lining in my circumstance. If anyone is reading this, I hope you can too. Stay positive and relaxed as best you can. It's best for both you and baby. Laugh too. Laughter is the best medicine. And as my grandmother always said, "This too shall pass." We go through the hard stuff to better appreciate easier times.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Numb Bum
The wild, world of Subchorionic Hematomas: Part 1.
Due to a rather large blood clot surrounding half of my placenta, I've been on bed rest for the better part of two months now during my second pregnancy. I am permitted to get up and use the bathroom, and I do get out to my doctor appointments. But the remainder of my time is mostly spent lying in my beloved recliner. And quite frequently, I experience NUMB BUM. Tonight was no exception.
I have been so uncomfortable this evening. It's hard for me to relax when I have a day full of gushing blood. When I'm in my recliner on days like today, I find that I'm locked up from the waist down. I feel as if I'm holding the longest kegel ever in the world... like I'm desperately using my mind to try and keep the blood from flowing out of my tense body. This, of course, is a ridiculous notion. But it is a factor that contributes to Numb Bum all the same.
Another contributing factor to Numb Bum is that I sit atop layers of materials to prevent a potential gusher from ruining my favorite chair that holds me daily. I have improvised barriers using a huge garbage bag, followed by an old beat up towel, and then using a hospital chuck to top it all off. As I shift, get up, sit down, and shift again throughout the day, these layers get bunched. Who would have thought your a$$ would fall asleep due to sitting/lying on a few wrinkles?
It's a bummer that chair stretches and massages don't help to wake up my Numb Bum cheeks. I suppose I'll just have to chalk it up to another badge of pregnancy, and take it like a champ.
Due to a rather large blood clot surrounding half of my placenta, I've been on bed rest for the better part of two months now during my second pregnancy. I am permitted to get up and use the bathroom, and I do get out to my doctor appointments. But the remainder of my time is mostly spent lying in my beloved recliner. And quite frequently, I experience NUMB BUM. Tonight was no exception.
I have been so uncomfortable this evening. It's hard for me to relax when I have a day full of gushing blood. When I'm in my recliner on days like today, I find that I'm locked up from the waist down. I feel as if I'm holding the longest kegel ever in the world... like I'm desperately using my mind to try and keep the blood from flowing out of my tense body. This, of course, is a ridiculous notion. But it is a factor that contributes to Numb Bum all the same.
Another contributing factor to Numb Bum is that I sit atop layers of materials to prevent a potential gusher from ruining my favorite chair that holds me daily. I have improvised barriers using a huge garbage bag, followed by an old beat up towel, and then using a hospital chuck to top it all off. As I shift, get up, sit down, and shift again throughout the day, these layers get bunched. Who would have thought your a$$ would fall asleep due to sitting/lying on a few wrinkles?
It's a bummer that chair stretches and massages don't help to wake up my Numb Bum cheeks. I suppose I'll just have to chalk it up to another badge of pregnancy, and take it like a champ.
In Good Hands
I have a great team of amazing doctors looking after me and B2 (baby 2.) My local doctor and specialist are both fantastic. But I have an in-home doctor who gives the best care.
My 2.5 year old daughter is by far the best doctor I could have asked for on my team. At home, my little munchkin will don her dress-up gloves and grab her toy stethoscope. In her most angelic voice, M will say, "Okay, I'm your doctor. I'm going to listen to your heartbeat Mommy." After a good listen, she tells me I have a healthy heartbeat. Then she will say, "Okay, now I need to check your belly." So, I'll roll up my t-shirt to expose my round belly with flattened belly button. M will lay her hands on my belly and say, "Okay, you have a healthy belly, Mommy." Sometimes she likes to end her check-up with a healthy dose of medicine: a good old fashioned zerbert. She isn't worried about complications. And I love her confidence!
I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am blessed to have a wonderful team watching over me. I love the special care I get at home. I am in good hands; though tiny they may be, they are mighty.
My 2.5 year old daughter is by far the best doctor I could have asked for on my team. At home, my little munchkin will don her dress-up gloves and grab her toy stethoscope. In her most angelic voice, M will say, "Okay, I'm your doctor. I'm going to listen to your heartbeat Mommy." After a good listen, she tells me I have a healthy heartbeat. Then she will say, "Okay, now I need to check your belly." So, I'll roll up my t-shirt to expose my round belly with flattened belly button. M will lay her hands on my belly and say, "Okay, you have a healthy belly, Mommy." Sometimes she likes to end her check-up with a healthy dose of medicine: a good old fashioned zerbert. She isn't worried about complications. And I love her confidence!
I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am blessed to have a wonderful team watching over me. I love the special care I get at home. I am in good hands; though tiny they may be, they are mighty.
I C-a-Section In My Future...
23 WEEKS PREGNANT!
Yet another doc appointment today. (Followed by one on Wednesday and another one this coming Monday. I think my docs just love me to death, and want to adopt me into their families. My going in every week or so has nothing to do with my complicated pregnancy. Nope, not at all. LOL.)
Blood levels drawn again to check and see if I'm anemic; and will be drawn every time I go in as a precautionary measure since I continue to lose so much blood. (Yep, the gushing started back up last night and has decided to annoy me all day today.) You'd think I'd be used to all the needle poking by now. Nope, still can't stand it.
Baby still has a healthy heartbeat! Love to hear that "whooshing" sound! Focusing on that positive sign!
And, it looks like a C-Section is in my future. Doc doesn't seem to think the baby or I would be able to handle a natural birth at this point. No worries. Whatever it takes to keep us healthy and safe. I must confess I'm not looking forward to a C-Section and the recovery process. But it will all be totally worth it in the end. We're going to try and make it as far as we can. Again, our goal is 28 weeks... so we have 5 to go. If we make it past 28 weeks I'll be jumping for joy, well, not until after the baby is born of course!
Just another day in the life of complications. And pressing on! We're troopers!
Yet another doc appointment today. (Followed by one on Wednesday and another one this coming Monday. I think my docs just love me to death, and want to adopt me into their families. My going in every week or so has nothing to do with my complicated pregnancy. Nope, not at all. LOL.)
Blood levels drawn again to check and see if I'm anemic; and will be drawn every time I go in as a precautionary measure since I continue to lose so much blood. (Yep, the gushing started back up last night and has decided to annoy me all day today.) You'd think I'd be used to all the needle poking by now. Nope, still can't stand it.
Baby still has a healthy heartbeat! Love to hear that "whooshing" sound! Focusing on that positive sign!
And, it looks like a C-Section is in my future. Doc doesn't seem to think the baby or I would be able to handle a natural birth at this point. No worries. Whatever it takes to keep us healthy and safe. I must confess I'm not looking forward to a C-Section and the recovery process. But it will all be totally worth it in the end. We're going to try and make it as far as we can. Again, our goal is 28 weeks... so we have 5 to go. If we make it past 28 weeks I'll be jumping for joy, well, not until after the baby is born of course!
Just another day in the life of complications. And pressing on! We're troopers!
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Breaking The News Of Our Second Pregnancy - Flashback
Thought I'd share another positive moment of this complicated pregnancy and tell you how we broke the news of baby number 2 to family and friends.
I mentioned in an earlier post that my hubby and I got lucky around Thanksgiving; we were not actively trying to get pregnant, although we were not preventing a pregnancy from happening either. Of course, we didn't discover this wonderful little miracle until Christmas Eve Eve. Due to our excitement, we decided to share the news immediately. I mean, let's face it, Christmas gifts can't get any better than that!
On Christmas Eve and Christmas Day we told immediate family in person. Some of the reactions were priceless. We always give photo albums of our daughter throughout the last year to extended family members, and at the end of the albums we added a little card that said something along the lines of "We're Expecting." After flipping through photos of our daughter and then reading the card at the end, well, those photo albums were a big hit.
When we decided to tell friends on facebook, I typed the following as my status on my wall: "Christmas [ov(BUN)en]."
Obviously these announcements weren't over the top, but the timing was perfect. It certainly made for a memorable Christmas.
* On a side note: I found out I was pregnant with my first child just before my mom's birthday. At the time I lived across country. So to break the news to her, I gave her a call and told her I found the perfect birthday gift for her and that I ordered it online. Then I said, but it's coming from overseas and it'll take about 9 months for the company to deliver. My mom said, "Wait a minute!" And that's how she learned she would be a grandmother to her first grandchild.
I mentioned in an earlier post that my hubby and I got lucky around Thanksgiving; we were not actively trying to get pregnant, although we were not preventing a pregnancy from happening either. Of course, we didn't discover this wonderful little miracle until Christmas Eve Eve. Due to our excitement, we decided to share the news immediately. I mean, let's face it, Christmas gifts can't get any better than that!
On Christmas Eve and Christmas Day we told immediate family in person. Some of the reactions were priceless. We always give photo albums of our daughter throughout the last year to extended family members, and at the end of the albums we added a little card that said something along the lines of "We're Expecting." After flipping through photos of our daughter and then reading the card at the end, well, those photo albums were a big hit.
When we decided to tell friends on facebook, I typed the following as my status on my wall: "Christmas [ov(BUN)en]."
Obviously these announcements weren't over the top, but the timing was perfect. It certainly made for a memorable Christmas.
* On a side note: I found out I was pregnant with my first child just before my mom's birthday. At the time I lived across country. So to break the news to her, I gave her a call and told her I found the perfect birthday gift for her and that I ordered it online. Then I said, but it's coming from overseas and it'll take about 9 months for the company to deliver. My mom said, "Wait a minute!" And that's how she learned she would be a grandmother to her first grandchild.
A Little Relief
I don't want to jinx anything, but this is news worth sharing!
This weekend has given me a little relief. Yes! Friends, I have had a little break. While I still have active blood loss, it slowed down drastically Thursday evening and remained fairly slow to flow over the last two and a half days. Due to a more "dry" feeling, I've been able to relax more. Things have picked up slightly today in the "Yucky Department," and I've had a little cramping. But I simply have to give thanks for a good weekend (after a semi-chaotic week.)
It's in the little things! Small victories!
This weekend has given me a little relief. Yes! Friends, I have had a little break. While I still have active blood loss, it slowed down drastically Thursday evening and remained fairly slow to flow over the last two and a half days. Due to a more "dry" feeling, I've been able to relax more. Things have picked up slightly today in the "Yucky Department," and I've had a little cramping. But I simply have to give thanks for a good weekend (after a semi-chaotic week.)
It's in the little things! Small victories!
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Getting Through The Storm
Thought I would share some scripture, quotes, a song, etc. that have been helping me get through the storm of my complicated pregnancy.
* Psalm 28:7 - "The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him."
* "In His hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind." ~ Job 12:10
* Philippians 4:7 - "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
* "Dear Lord, I'm not understanding the 'why' of this. It's hard and messy. But I will hold on to the fact that You are in control of it. You can heal it. And my hope is in You, not this circumstance. Amen." Shared from Proverbs 31 Ministries' Status.
* "Apparently God only gives us what He thinks we can handle. He must think I'm a bad-ass." ~ Rotten eCards
* "Worry fades away when we know for sure our future is secure in God's hands." ~ Posted by a friend on facebook. Not sure of original source.
* "Don't you DARE give up! God can turn broken pieces into masterpieces." ~ www.verseinspireme.com
* Psalm 139:13-14 - "For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
* "Prayer is a bridge from your mess to God's rest." ~ Women Living Well
* The song "Carry Me" by Josh Wilson. http://youtu.be/3jZmBQn_018
* "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." ~ Romans 8:28
Also, making a few jokes here and there to laugh about my journey instead of crying has been helpful. For example, I told a friend I needed a motorized recliner and a moving van... so I can get outta my house! Bed rest does not suit me, at least, not for weeks on end...
And of course, the most important thing helping me get through the storm has been kind words and gestures from friends and family. I'm most appreciative of all of the meals and desserts dropped off, for all of the prayers, and words of encouragement coming my way. It's also been helpful to hear stories from friends and family who have also had complicated pregnancies and made it through.
Blessed, not stressed.
* Psalm 28:7 - "The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him."
* "In His hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind." ~ Job 12:10
* Philippians 4:7 - "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
* "Dear Lord, I'm not understanding the 'why' of this. It's hard and messy. But I will hold on to the fact that You are in control of it. You can heal it. And my hope is in You, not this circumstance. Amen." Shared from Proverbs 31 Ministries' Status.
* "Apparently God only gives us what He thinks we can handle. He must think I'm a bad-ass." ~ Rotten eCards
* "Worry fades away when we know for sure our future is secure in God's hands." ~ Posted by a friend on facebook. Not sure of original source.
* "Don't you DARE give up! God can turn broken pieces into masterpieces." ~ www.verseinspireme.com
* Psalm 139:13-14 - "For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
* "Prayer is a bridge from your mess to God's rest." ~ Women Living Well
* The song "Carry Me" by Josh Wilson. http://youtu.be/3jZmBQn_018
* "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." ~ Romans 8:28
Also, making a few jokes here and there to laugh about my journey instead of crying has been helpful. For example, I told a friend I needed a motorized recliner and a moving van... so I can get outta my house! Bed rest does not suit me, at least, not for weeks on end...
And of course, the most important thing helping me get through the storm has been kind words and gestures from friends and family. I'm most appreciative of all of the meals and desserts dropped off, for all of the prayers, and words of encouragement coming my way. It's also been helpful to hear stories from friends and family who have also had complicated pregnancies and made it through.
Blessed, not stressed.
Every Pregnancy Is Different - No Kidding!
My husband and I tried for two years to get pregnant with our first child, and she was definitely worth the wait. I was blessed to have a beautiful, easy, uncomplicated first pregnancy with my daughter. (And an extremely easy labor and delivery as well.) I never experienced morning sickness with her - at all! I didn't have heartburn, except for maybe one extremely mild night after eating Indian food. My feet were never swollen. I didn't experience gestational diabetes. Only had leg cramps maybe once or twice. The only discomfort I remember was feeling the ligaments stretching as my uterus expanded - and even that was not bad at all.
My second pregnancy with my son has been quite the opposite, in almost every way. Matt and I started talking about having more children; when we got lucky around Thanksgiving we were not actively trying to get pregnant, but we weren't preventing it from happening either. I found out I was preggo with Baby Boy Bailey on Christmas Eve, and started telling family right away. My mom's reaction was the best; I'll never forget her jumping up and down in my grandmother's kitchen.
The night before my first OB/GYN appointment, scheduled around 10.5 weeks, I started spotting blood. I was instantly frightened at the sight (I didn't experience this with my first child) and started crying because I thought I was going to have a miscarriage. I was able to get in touch with the on-call doc quickly, and he comforted me by saying vaginal spotting/bleeding was common in the first trimester. He said if my symptoms didn't worsen over night, my doctor would check everything out in the morning.
The next day, at my first appointment, I learned I had a subchorionic hematoma - it's size measuring around 7.5 cm. I could see the blood clot on the ultrasound monitor. There was too much blood present to perform a regular pap. We listened to the baby's heartbeat, it was healthy and strong, a very positive sign. My doctor said that despite having the blood clot, at least the blood was flowing out vaginally, another positive sign. We discussed the hematoma a bit more, and then he wanted to see me back in two weeks for another ultrasound and follow-up.
Two weeks later, the ultrasound revealed that my clot was getting smaller. It measured 6.1 cm. I was excited, and thought we were on the mend! As it turns out, that was just the calm before the storm.
On my third doc visit, two weeks after the second, the clot had grown larger than the first time it was measured. (I don't even remember the exact measurements now.) At this point, my doctor had never seen a clot as large as mine, and was growing concerned that it wasn't healing. He decided to send me to a specialist. The specialist confirmed everything my local doctor and I had been discussing. He too, said there was nothing we could do but wait and see what happened. He also told me he HAD seen larger clots than mine, and that those women went on to have healthy babies. That was very comforting to know.
Shortly after I saw the specialist, an ultrasound showed that my son's intestines were enlarged - and this sent up a few red flags. So the specialist ordered some lab work. Not only were we dealing with a blood clot and all of the complications associated with that, but now we were told our son might have Down Syndrome, Cystic Fibrosis, Spinabifida, or an infection that could possibly cause mental retardation and/or blindness/deafness. Wowza! Information overload. When it rains, it pours. I nervously waited on lab results, hoping we wouldn't receive any more bad news. I prayed. Those prayers were answered. Blood work came back without indication of any of the above mentioned issues. Major sigh of relief!
[I remember the specialist speaking of abortions, and that some women choose to end their pregnancies if results come back positive for any of those issues. I started tearing up while he spoke. I knew in my heart I could never end a pregnancy. Nature would have to take care of that for me. That would be God's decision, not mine. My husband is disabled and we learned to deal with that. If we had a child with special needs, God would give us the tools and skills we needed to raise our special child and help us through that as well. But prayers were answered - we would not be faced with those additional challenges.]
Almost as soon as I started to relax after receiving cleared lab results, I checked-in to the hospital around midnight one night due to the constant loss of gushing blood... again, I thought I was about to lose my baby. I lifted more prayers to God, and around 7:00 am I was discharged from the hospital - still pregnant!
Most recently at 22 weeks pregnant (with a blood clot that now wraps half-way around my placenta), I checked-in to the hospital because my docs thought I might be anemic and need a blood transfusion after a night of more gushing blood and passing blood clots the size of apples in diameter/size of my finger in thickness. Though my blood levels were low, they were not low enough to need a transfusion. And once again, my prayers were answered. (I would have gladly accepted the transfusion if it meant that my baby and I would benefit from the procedure. But I'm not gonna lie, I was a little concerned about "stranger danger" blood and the risk sometimes associated with transfusions. No one wants to deal with the rare possibility of hepatitis, HIV, or death due to receiving the wrong blood type.)
Unlike my first pregnancy, my second has been off-the-charts crazy! Active blood loss daily and the passing of large blood clots every so often was something I never dealt with the first go-around. Due to the bleeding, I've experienced much cramping. I've also experienced wicked morning sickness, mad heartburn, and incapacitating gas. Leg cramps have been more frequent. Since I'm on bed rest, I'm tired. Of course, my body is working overtime as well. But I'm tired of being tired. I take vitamins 3 times a day instead of once a day. I drink Boost High Protein shakes on top of eating my meals. I see two doctors every two weeks - at least. During my first pregnancy I saw my OB/GYN once a month.
They say every pregnancy is different. I'm here to say NO KIDDING! Despite all of the complications, aches, and pains I have to give thanks through it all. As a bonus, I get to see my baby grow every two weeks. As a bonus, my faith is stronger in God, as I am more reliant on Him to get me through. Friends and family are proving to be a valuable support system, and so I've grown closer to those I love.
Baby Boy Bailey and I are not out of the danger zone yet. But I actively choose not to focus on the negative (as best I can, because let's face it, I'm human and it isn't always easy.) I celebrate every Monday when I'm another week pregnant. My short term goal is to make it past 24 weeks preggo (this is the very earliest he would have a fighting chance at survival, and not without major complication) and get to at least 28 weeks preggo. Anything past that and after the baby is born I'll be doing cartwheels. I'd love to carry him full term, but we're just gonna take it one day and one week at a time. By God's grace we have made it this far. By God's grace we'll make it even further.
Keeping my focus. Keeping my faith. Staying positive and giving thanks every step along the way. Hanging in there.
My second pregnancy with my son has been quite the opposite, in almost every way. Matt and I started talking about having more children; when we got lucky around Thanksgiving we were not actively trying to get pregnant, but we weren't preventing it from happening either. I found out I was preggo with Baby Boy Bailey on Christmas Eve, and started telling family right away. My mom's reaction was the best; I'll never forget her jumping up and down in my grandmother's kitchen.
The night before my first OB/GYN appointment, scheduled around 10.5 weeks, I started spotting blood. I was instantly frightened at the sight (I didn't experience this with my first child) and started crying because I thought I was going to have a miscarriage. I was able to get in touch with the on-call doc quickly, and he comforted me by saying vaginal spotting/bleeding was common in the first trimester. He said if my symptoms didn't worsen over night, my doctor would check everything out in the morning.
The next day, at my first appointment, I learned I had a subchorionic hematoma - it's size measuring around 7.5 cm. I could see the blood clot on the ultrasound monitor. There was too much blood present to perform a regular pap. We listened to the baby's heartbeat, it was healthy and strong, a very positive sign. My doctor said that despite having the blood clot, at least the blood was flowing out vaginally, another positive sign. We discussed the hematoma a bit more, and then he wanted to see me back in two weeks for another ultrasound and follow-up.
Two weeks later, the ultrasound revealed that my clot was getting smaller. It measured 6.1 cm. I was excited, and thought we were on the mend! As it turns out, that was just the calm before the storm.
On my third doc visit, two weeks after the second, the clot had grown larger than the first time it was measured. (I don't even remember the exact measurements now.) At this point, my doctor had never seen a clot as large as mine, and was growing concerned that it wasn't healing. He decided to send me to a specialist. The specialist confirmed everything my local doctor and I had been discussing. He too, said there was nothing we could do but wait and see what happened. He also told me he HAD seen larger clots than mine, and that those women went on to have healthy babies. That was very comforting to know.
Shortly after I saw the specialist, an ultrasound showed that my son's intestines were enlarged - and this sent up a few red flags. So the specialist ordered some lab work. Not only were we dealing with a blood clot and all of the complications associated with that, but now we were told our son might have Down Syndrome, Cystic Fibrosis, Spinabifida, or an infection that could possibly cause mental retardation and/or blindness/deafness. Wowza! Information overload. When it rains, it pours. I nervously waited on lab results, hoping we wouldn't receive any more bad news. I prayed. Those prayers were answered. Blood work came back without indication of any of the above mentioned issues. Major sigh of relief!
[I remember the specialist speaking of abortions, and that some women choose to end their pregnancies if results come back positive for any of those issues. I started tearing up while he spoke. I knew in my heart I could never end a pregnancy. Nature would have to take care of that for me. That would be God's decision, not mine. My husband is disabled and we learned to deal with that. If we had a child with special needs, God would give us the tools and skills we needed to raise our special child and help us through that as well. But prayers were answered - we would not be faced with those additional challenges.]
Almost as soon as I started to relax after receiving cleared lab results, I checked-in to the hospital around midnight one night due to the constant loss of gushing blood... again, I thought I was about to lose my baby. I lifted more prayers to God, and around 7:00 am I was discharged from the hospital - still pregnant!
Most recently at 22 weeks pregnant (with a blood clot that now wraps half-way around my placenta), I checked-in to the hospital because my docs thought I might be anemic and need a blood transfusion after a night of more gushing blood and passing blood clots the size of apples in diameter/size of my finger in thickness. Though my blood levels were low, they were not low enough to need a transfusion. And once again, my prayers were answered. (I would have gladly accepted the transfusion if it meant that my baby and I would benefit from the procedure. But I'm not gonna lie, I was a little concerned about "stranger danger" blood and the risk sometimes associated with transfusions. No one wants to deal with the rare possibility of hepatitis, HIV, or death due to receiving the wrong blood type.)
Unlike my first pregnancy, my second has been off-the-charts crazy! Active blood loss daily and the passing of large blood clots every so often was something I never dealt with the first go-around. Due to the bleeding, I've experienced much cramping. I've also experienced wicked morning sickness, mad heartburn, and incapacitating gas. Leg cramps have been more frequent. Since I'm on bed rest, I'm tired. Of course, my body is working overtime as well. But I'm tired of being tired. I take vitamins 3 times a day instead of once a day. I drink Boost High Protein shakes on top of eating my meals. I see two doctors every two weeks - at least. During my first pregnancy I saw my OB/GYN once a month.
They say every pregnancy is different. I'm here to say NO KIDDING! Despite all of the complications, aches, and pains I have to give thanks through it all. As a bonus, I get to see my baby grow every two weeks. As a bonus, my faith is stronger in God, as I am more reliant on Him to get me through. Friends and family are proving to be a valuable support system, and so I've grown closer to those I love.
Baby Boy Bailey and I are not out of the danger zone yet. But I actively choose not to focus on the negative (as best I can, because let's face it, I'm human and it isn't always easy.) I celebrate every Monday when I'm another week pregnant. My short term goal is to make it past 24 weeks preggo (this is the very earliest he would have a fighting chance at survival, and not without major complication) and get to at least 28 weeks preggo. Anything past that and after the baby is born I'll be doing cartwheels. I'd love to carry him full term, but we're just gonna take it one day and one week at a time. By God's grace we have made it this far. By God's grace we'll make it even further.
Keeping my focus. Keeping my faith. Staying positive and giving thanks every step along the way. Hanging in there.
Friday, April 26, 2013
Subchorionic WHAT?!?
Howdy. Time to get back into the swing of things. Time to start pecking away at the ole keyboard, thanks to the encouragement of a friend.
Yesterday I mentioned that I have a complicated 2nd pregnancy, and have been dealing with a subchorionic hematoma. What the *bleep* is that you may ask? Let me share:
A subchorionic hematoma is often referred to by doctors as a blood clot, or the pooling of blood between the placenta and uterus during pregnancy. Ewwww. According to my doctor, these are common and occur in 20-30% of patients within the first trimester; and it's one of the main causes for vaginal bleeding at this stage of the pregnancy. It is thought that the SCH might occur around the time of implantation - when the fertilized egg attaches to the uterine wall. (When my doc explained it as the egg trying to find a blood source, and tearing away too much of the wall when latching on, I instantly pictured a little alien with teeth chowing down on it's first meal. Happy to be the host of said little alien though. Sorry if the alien terminology offends, but it helps me laugh about my situation - and laughing is better than crying.) For a minute I thought the SCH referred to the actual tear, but again, it is in reference to the clot/collection of blood between the membranes. How are these SCH diagnosed? Ultrasound imaging is choice. I was told that most subchorionic hematomas are small (a couple of centimeters) and clear up on their own... disappearing around 15-20 weeks in pregnancy (either by bleeding out or reabsorbing into the body.) But hello! My situation is COMPLICATED. My clot measured 7.5 cm at my first OB/GYN appointment and has only continued to grow. I'm 22 weeks pregnant and my clot is now half-way around my placenta. I continue to bleed vaginally every day, and pass blood clots off and on throughout the passing weeks. (Doc says the bleeding out is a good sign b/c it's not sitting up there irritating the placenta.)
I was reassured that I didn't do anything wrong to cause this complication. No worries, doc; I'm not of that mindset. What I wanted to know was how do we fix this so I can carry my baby full term and deliver him - YES! We are having a boy! - safely into this world? That's when I got the "bad" news. Well, bad for me anyway. Nothing could be done to solve my preggo problem. For those of you that don't know me, I'm a control freak. I like to take charge and fix things right away. And I'm not patient... sitting and waiting... well, just doesn't sit well with me. I teased my doc: I asked if we could shove some duct tape up there, or use some super glue or a laser to cauterize. He laughed with me, but said we'd "simply" have to wait and see. Nothing we could do to fix it. And there wasn't anything we could do to prevent this from getting worse; well, aside from no more intercourse, and no heavy lifting or straining. At that time, the plan was to carry on about life as usual. Pelvic rest and bed rest were not initially recommended. (Due to my growing clot, I've now been on bed rest for approximately 2 months.)
I was curious to know what some of the risks were in association to my situation. I am at a heightened risk of placental abruption, where the placenta tears away from the uterine wall - putting the health of the fetus in immediate danger. Of course, the clot itself is an irritant to the uterus (that's why we have periods and shed our lining monthly) and could cause a miscarriage. In my research, I found that only 1-3% of SCH result in the loss of a pregnancy and are usually associated with larger clots. YIKES - was my initial thought of my large clot, but I had to give that thought back to God. Sometimes with the passing of clots, tissue from the placenta is removed which can lead to one's water breaking early. If the baby remains in the womb after the water breaks, all kinds of infections can occur causing damage to baby's development. And then there are other risks like elevated blood pressure, etc... bringing on a new set of complications.
Walking from my doctor's office down the hall to the reception desk, I teared up a little. I said a quick prayer asking God to keep my baby safe. I set up my next appointment. Then I walked to the car, lost in a semi-dark cloud of thought.
When I got home, I sat down in the recliner, and decided I needed to talk to God. I prayed a long, hard prayer. I mean, this was a serious, in-depth, heart-to-heart prayer - not at all like the quick prayer I sent up in the doctor's office. I've always known that God has plans for us, plans to prosper us and not harm us. I told the Lord I understood that if I miscarried it was for His reason and purpose, and that at least I knew my baby would always be protected in Heaven. But I also told God I was selfish, and that I wanted to welcome this precious baby into my world. I prayed that either way this goes, I knew it would be best for my baby - and that's what truly matters. The loss of a child would be devastating, but I know God would get me through it. I told God right then and there that I would try to keep my focus on Him and His plan, and not my current situation. Of course, I asked for Him to help me in this endeavour because I know every day is not always an easy day.
Ever since that prayer, I have tried very hard to leave this complication in God's hands and let Him do His work. I try to focus on all of the positive details of my pregnancy, giving thanks for small victories along the way. I focus on my baby's healthy/strong heartbeat. I focus on the fact that he is growing and measuring right on track. I focus on the fact that he has plenty of amniotic fluid around him. And I focus on my son's movement. Every kick, every nudge is a reminder that he is alive and thriving inside my womb. And again, I give thanks.
Focusing on God, His plan, and all the positives isn't always easy when the negatives are thrown in your face. I've been in the hospital twice, once for gushing blood and once because they thought I might be anemic and need a blood transfusion. Fortunately, all turned out well both times, as God continues to carry me through.
I can't pretend to understand everyone's situation. I only know what I experience and go through. But I also know, for me, talking about it helps. So if this helps someone I am glad. Know that there is an individual - ahem, me - out there who is praying for you. And however your situation works out, it is all best for baby, because there are things in this world that happen that are beyond our understanding. Keep your faith. Keep thinking happy, positive thoughts. And just take it one day at a time. That's all we can really do.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional. Please research subchorionic hematomas for yourself and discuss with your own physician.
Yesterday I mentioned that I have a complicated 2nd pregnancy, and have been dealing with a subchorionic hematoma. What the *bleep* is that you may ask? Let me share:
A subchorionic hematoma is often referred to by doctors as a blood clot, or the pooling of blood between the placenta and uterus during pregnancy. Ewwww. According to my doctor, these are common and occur in 20-30% of patients within the first trimester; and it's one of the main causes for vaginal bleeding at this stage of the pregnancy. It is thought that the SCH might occur around the time of implantation - when the fertilized egg attaches to the uterine wall. (When my doc explained it as the egg trying to find a blood source, and tearing away too much of the wall when latching on, I instantly pictured a little alien with teeth chowing down on it's first meal. Happy to be the host of said little alien though. Sorry if the alien terminology offends, but it helps me laugh about my situation - and laughing is better than crying.) For a minute I thought the SCH referred to the actual tear, but again, it is in reference to the clot/collection of blood between the membranes. How are these SCH diagnosed? Ultrasound imaging is choice. I was told that most subchorionic hematomas are small (a couple of centimeters) and clear up on their own... disappearing around 15-20 weeks in pregnancy (either by bleeding out or reabsorbing into the body.) But hello! My situation is COMPLICATED. My clot measured 7.5 cm at my first OB/GYN appointment and has only continued to grow. I'm 22 weeks pregnant and my clot is now half-way around my placenta. I continue to bleed vaginally every day, and pass blood clots off and on throughout the passing weeks. (Doc says the bleeding out is a good sign b/c it's not sitting up there irritating the placenta.)
I was reassured that I didn't do anything wrong to cause this complication. No worries, doc; I'm not of that mindset. What I wanted to know was how do we fix this so I can carry my baby full term and deliver him - YES! We are having a boy! - safely into this world? That's when I got the "bad" news. Well, bad for me anyway. Nothing could be done to solve my preggo problem. For those of you that don't know me, I'm a control freak. I like to take charge and fix things right away. And I'm not patient... sitting and waiting... well, just doesn't sit well with me. I teased my doc: I asked if we could shove some duct tape up there, or use some super glue or a laser to cauterize. He laughed with me, but said we'd "simply" have to wait and see. Nothing we could do to fix it. And there wasn't anything we could do to prevent this from getting worse; well, aside from no more intercourse, and no heavy lifting or straining. At that time, the plan was to carry on about life as usual. Pelvic rest and bed rest were not initially recommended. (Due to my growing clot, I've now been on bed rest for approximately 2 months.)
I was curious to know what some of the risks were in association to my situation. I am at a heightened risk of placental abruption, where the placenta tears away from the uterine wall - putting the health of the fetus in immediate danger. Of course, the clot itself is an irritant to the uterus (that's why we have periods and shed our lining monthly) and could cause a miscarriage. In my research, I found that only 1-3% of SCH result in the loss of a pregnancy and are usually associated with larger clots. YIKES - was my initial thought of my large clot, but I had to give that thought back to God. Sometimes with the passing of clots, tissue from the placenta is removed which can lead to one's water breaking early. If the baby remains in the womb after the water breaks, all kinds of infections can occur causing damage to baby's development. And then there are other risks like elevated blood pressure, etc... bringing on a new set of complications.
Walking from my doctor's office down the hall to the reception desk, I teared up a little. I said a quick prayer asking God to keep my baby safe. I set up my next appointment. Then I walked to the car, lost in a semi-dark cloud of thought.
When I got home, I sat down in the recliner, and decided I needed to talk to God. I prayed a long, hard prayer. I mean, this was a serious, in-depth, heart-to-heart prayer - not at all like the quick prayer I sent up in the doctor's office. I've always known that God has plans for us, plans to prosper us and not harm us. I told the Lord I understood that if I miscarried it was for His reason and purpose, and that at least I knew my baby would always be protected in Heaven. But I also told God I was selfish, and that I wanted to welcome this precious baby into my world. I prayed that either way this goes, I knew it would be best for my baby - and that's what truly matters. The loss of a child would be devastating, but I know God would get me through it. I told God right then and there that I would try to keep my focus on Him and His plan, and not my current situation. Of course, I asked for Him to help me in this endeavour because I know every day is not always an easy day.
Ever since that prayer, I have tried very hard to leave this complication in God's hands and let Him do His work. I try to focus on all of the positive details of my pregnancy, giving thanks for small victories along the way. I focus on my baby's healthy/strong heartbeat. I focus on the fact that he is growing and measuring right on track. I focus on the fact that he has plenty of amniotic fluid around him. And I focus on my son's movement. Every kick, every nudge is a reminder that he is alive and thriving inside my womb. And again, I give thanks.
Focusing on God, His plan, and all the positives isn't always easy when the negatives are thrown in your face. I've been in the hospital twice, once for gushing blood and once because they thought I might be anemic and need a blood transfusion. Fortunately, all turned out well both times, as God continues to carry me through.
I can't pretend to understand everyone's situation. I only know what I experience and go through. But I also know, for me, talking about it helps. So if this helps someone I am glad. Know that there is an individual - ahem, me - out there who is praying for you. And however your situation works out, it is all best for baby, because there are things in this world that happen that are beyond our understanding. Keep your faith. Keep thinking happy, positive thoughts. And just take it one day at a time. That's all we can really do.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional. Please research subchorionic hematomas for yourself and discuss with your own physician.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
It's Complicated
So, it's been a year since I last posted anything... my, how the time has flown.
When I was pregnant with my first child, a friend suggested I start a blog so that friends and family who lived far away could easily keep up with my progress. I started writing - and had a blast doing so. I called it "The Bailey Daily." But let's be honest, it wasn't a daily blog.
Then I decided to change gears and renamed my blog Carolina Mom Creations. I thought it would be cool to write about life as a stay-at-home mom as I dabbled in all things domestic. I realized all too quickly that playing with my kiddo and spending quality time with the hubbs was much more fun than writing about all of the things we were doing together. I had to face the music, my time was not my own and I wanted to spend it wisely.
Here I am, just over a year of being absent from my last post, and pregnant again with my second child. This pregnancy has been the complete opposite of my first: IT'S COMPLICATED!
I am now 22 weeks pregnant and have a subchorionic hematoma, which was diagnosed 3 months ago. I've been keeping friends and family in the loop with everything that's been going on, and tonight one of those friends suggested I start blogging. She felt that me talking about my complication could help other women going through the same thing cope. I immediately sent her a message saying... "funny you should mention..." As I've been on bed rest for the last two months, I've actually started thinking about writing again. Not only could it potentially help others, but I think it would be therapeutic for me. And it would definitely help the time pass. Don't get me wrong, I love my recliner. And I don't mind a weekend in pajamas. But this business of not being able to go out and have fun is NO JOKE. Time is moving very slowly these days.
It's launch time, baby! I'm gonna give blogging yet another shot. And I'm gonna be honest about the craziness of this complicated pregnancy. If anyone is reading, I hope this helps. I know for me, it will be helpful to vent my emotions. Plus, it will be nice to chronicle this time in my life for my children. So, either way, it's a win-win!
When I was pregnant with my first child, a friend suggested I start a blog so that friends and family who lived far away could easily keep up with my progress. I started writing - and had a blast doing so. I called it "The Bailey Daily." But let's be honest, it wasn't a daily blog.
Then I decided to change gears and renamed my blog Carolina Mom Creations. I thought it would be cool to write about life as a stay-at-home mom as I dabbled in all things domestic. I realized all too quickly that playing with my kiddo and spending quality time with the hubbs was much more fun than writing about all of the things we were doing together. I had to face the music, my time was not my own and I wanted to spend it wisely.
Here I am, just over a year of being absent from my last post, and pregnant again with my second child. This pregnancy has been the complete opposite of my first: IT'S COMPLICATED!
I am now 22 weeks pregnant and have a subchorionic hematoma, which was diagnosed 3 months ago. I've been keeping friends and family in the loop with everything that's been going on, and tonight one of those friends suggested I start blogging. She felt that me talking about my complication could help other women going through the same thing cope. I immediately sent her a message saying... "funny you should mention..." As I've been on bed rest for the last two months, I've actually started thinking about writing again. Not only could it potentially help others, but I think it would be therapeutic for me. And it would definitely help the time pass. Don't get me wrong, I love my recliner. And I don't mind a weekend in pajamas. But this business of not being able to go out and have fun is NO JOKE. Time is moving very slowly these days.
It's launch time, baby! I'm gonna give blogging yet another shot. And I'm gonna be honest about the craziness of this complicated pregnancy. If anyone is reading, I hope this helps. I know for me, it will be helpful to vent my emotions. Plus, it will be nice to chronicle this time in my life for my children. So, either way, it's a win-win!
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