Cankle-Bangers, Little Piggies, & Stay Puft Marshmellow Legs

I am a sight to behold.

This just in: Cankle-bangers drove by and shot me up with fluid - causing major swelling in my lower extremities several nights ago.  Prognosis is fair.  It is unknown as to how long I will potentially deal with the aftermath of this swollen situation.  Suspects still on the loose, and wanted at large.  If you have any information regarding this crime, call 1-000-Edema-Busters.  Your call will remain confidential and anonymous.  (Note sarcasm.  No actual crime and no crime number to call.)  

Never heard of the cankle gang?  "Cankles" is slang terminology that combines "calves" and "ankles" into one word.  This description refers to calves that don't taper down to the ankles.  The highlight of this news feed is that I can no longer see my ankles, as my calves and feet have become one, and thus reporting is a must. 

Yes, due to this unruly event, from the thighs down in appearance, my legs strongly resemble the image of the Stay Puft Marshmellow [Man's] legs.  They are puffy.  They are heavy.  And it is hard for me to move.  Sometimes my legs and feet swell so much that they almost feel numb, and sometimes tingly too.  It feels as if my feet could pop off from the ankles at any moment.

As for my little piggies (toes, in case you were wondering)... let's just say they are off to the market soon.  And no, they won't be returning home, shouting "Wee wee wee," all the way there.  To market, to market, to buy a fat pig... I'd make the butcher happy.  LOL

Continued Coverage: The only thing to be done is rest with my feet up, and if possible sleep with my feet elevated above my heart.  I can tell ya right now, that won't be happening.  I'm having a hard enough time lying flat in the bed after my C-section... let alone try and prop my feet up at the same time.  You want the fluid to rush back to your kidneys so you can urinate and flush the fluid out of your system (that's why leg elevation is important.)  Also, drinking lots of water should help.  It may seem contra-indicative to add fluid to fluid, but water will aid in flushing out the excess fluid.  Oh, and perhaps I should give compression hose a go... anything to keep circulation in my lower limbs.

I didn't have to deal with swelling after having my first child.  This is just another reminder that every pregnancy is different.  The things we go through, and the stories we share along the way in bringing life into this world... Now that's NEWS!