Words & Music
Cheryl Wheeler, Jonathan Edwards And Bob Dawson
- I'm psychiatric now
- It just happened
- I don't know how
- Life was moving right along
- At a reasonable clip
- When bang zoom
- Lost my grip
- And I'm psychiatric now
- Oh I might smile thinking things are really swell
- Or I might cry - trouble is you just can't tell
- Cause I'm psychiatric now
- So when I'd had enough of this
- I went to a psychiatrist
- I said I'm acting crazily
- I think my mind is gone from me
- He looked at me said I agree
- You think you're nuts and seem to be
- So he prescribed some pills for me
- And I went to the pharmacy
- I took them and I seemed to be just ... fine
- There's just one little question on my mind.
- Is it peace or is it Prozac
- I don't care
- No need to know that
- When the moon is full and the world's too close
- I just keep my smile and I up my dose
- Is it peace or is it Prozac
- Is this mellow, am I a maniac
- Is my mind out there and can I get it back
- Is it peace I feel or is it Prozac
What is NICU, some of you may ask? NICU is the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit in a hospital; it's where premature or severely ill newborn babies stay until they are healthy and strong enough to go home with their mommies and daddies. (It is the unit in which all of the ups and downs, twists and turns, would make any sane mother, or father for that matter, want to pull his/her hair out on occasion.)
My son was delivered by emergency C-section at 24 weeks and 4 days. He is now almost a month old, so we have nearly a month's NICU experience under our belts. Life for my family has been turned upside down. It was as if the universe decided to pour us in a blender and hit puree. Do you remember the frog in the blender cartoon that floated around the internet for a while? Yeah, well, we might as well have been that frog [family.]
A lot of people have been asking me how we are getting through. They are amazed at my family's strength and courage. They see us laugh and smile. They see us making the best of a tough situation. They see us beam with pride at every small victory, every milestone. They ask how we manage our home, living apart, a toddler who doesn't understand, etc. They ask how we can be so patient and calm throughout all of this... I laughed; my husband laughed even harder.
We're tough, and we can handle a lot. But we're not balls-to-the-wall tough. While we manage effectively 90-95% of the time, I must confess it isn't always as easy as it seems. It's not all sunshine and rainbows. There are a few dark clouds that pass from time to time. A few obscenities are shouted here and there, tears are shed, fists are shaken in the air, crazy rants are delivered, tantrums are thrown, and we can get a little snappy. We're human. We vent, and we move on.
They haven't had to send me to the psych ward thus far, nor will they have to in the future. No straight jackets or padded walls for me. No Prozac either. I've got peace... peace of mind. I'm keeping my sanity. I'm taking things one day at a time, and I'll get through. You can too!
So, how does one survive life in the NICU? Here are a few tips for maintaining your sanity:
1. Have a little FAITH. I believe in God, and I know He's got this. If I didn't have my faith, I would be totally lost. I would be scared. I would be confused and angry. With God in control and carrying me through, I have the greatest sense of peace.
2. Find good support. Whether it's a comfortable nursing bra (for the mamas), a comfortable chair in the nursery (for the papas), friends, family, or actual support groups... lay it on them. Lighten your burdens and your load. They'll help you out.
3. Get to know your nurses and doctors. Knowing those that care for your little one can be super comforting, and a huge stress-reliever. Not so keen on a particular someone caring for your precious bundle of joy, don't hesitate to speak up and voice your concerns tactfully and through the appropriate channels. Not sure how to break the ice in getting to know the staff? Nurses and docs love donuts! The sugar rush helps to keep them active and alert on those 12 hour shifts... especially the night shift. J/K.
4. Let the medical team do their job. Unless you've been to medical school or had some sort of medical training... leave it to those wearing scrubs. Trust me, they know what they are doing! (I walked in on nurses bagging my little guy because he stopped breathing and wouldn't let the oscillator help him oxygenate/ventilate. There was no way in H*E*Double-hockey-sticks me making a fuss over the situation was gonna help. So I stood back out of the way, and my little guy was fine.) Also, be sure to thank them for all they do, and thank them often. Again, donuts help here. Don't just say thanks, but show your appreciation.
5. Medical terminology have your head spinning and your tongue tied? Relax. Breathe. Wu-sah. Also, see tips #6 and #7. In fact, just relax, breathe, and wu-sah in general... doesn't just have to be in relation to mumbo-jumbo medical words. And Google that $hit! But don't just believe everything you read. Find legit medical websites. Then speak with your medical team again. Have them re-explain. Have them draw pictures if necessary... mine did! I'm a visual learner. Are you an auditory learner? I'd love to see someone ask their nurse to break out in song (and dance!) to explain information!
6. Ask lots of questions.
7. Still don't understand? Ask again. Write everything down - everything they say and all of your questions you need to ask. (If you have an outstanding medical team like my little guy does, they give you answers to questions you haven't thought to ask.)
8. Enjoy the roller coaster that is NICU! You will have ups. You will have downs. And there will be some loopty-loopers and some twisty-turners. There will be good days and bad days. Accept it. Throw your hands up! Scream! Make a funny face for the camera. Not a fan of roller coasters? The ride will be over in the blink of an eye, and soon you'll be home with your sweet baby. Hospital Theme Park? Take pictures and make a scrapbook!
9. Don't be afraid to get all snot-faced. Have yourself a good cry. Grab a box of tissues. Let the rivers flow. Then dry those tears and regroup. Find new focus.
10. Don't be afraid to laugh like a mad-woman. Laughter is the best medicine. Although, please refrain from laughing like a mad-woman near the psych unit. They may have some questions for you. But seriously, get hysterical. Look like a clown. Act a fool. Then regroup. Find new focus.
11. Have personal goals. Celebrate small victories and milestones! Each and every little thing counts! In fact, it counts double because your little one is working extra hard to see you - sooner than expected. (I celebrated holding my son for the first time in a month since he's been born. Wahoo!) Having goals gives you something to look forward to. Meeting goals gives you something to celebrate. Working towards goals keeps you sane.
12. Choose your battles. Not everything matters. Let the little stuff go. So what if your toddler decides to pick out her own clothes for the day and doesn't match. So what if she looks a hot mess. If little one's happy, the rest of the family is happy. Wait a minute...
13. You can't be everywhere with everyone at once. Don't feel guilty when you divide your time. Be sure to take a little time for yourself. Add in a little QT (quality time) with your partner. Give a little TLC (tender loving care) to your older children. And then gaze at that tiny bundle of joy in the incubator. Go goo-goo gaa-gaa over him or her.
14. Let it get a little messy and disorganized. Is your house a disaster zone? My husband does his best to tidy up our place while I'm not there, but lets face it, he ain't the Queen of Clean. Again, let me redirect you to tip #12. So what if the house isn't to your standards. Plenty of time to scrub later. Family time is more important. Life feeling a little disorganized? That's okay. Do what you need to do to get through the day, the hour, the minute. Let the pieces fall, and then pick them back up later.
15. Take advantage of freebies. Our hospital offers free massages for parents with children in the NICU. I can't even begin to tell you how relaxing this was. My stress melted away, along with all of the tension knots in my back, neck and shoulders!
16. Learn to love your breast pump. Okay, who am I kidding! I can't give advice here, because I hate my breast pump. But I'm working on it. Every day I'm tempted to chuck the thing out the window and watch it burst into a thousand pieces in the parking lot. But then I think of my son, and he needs me to learn to embrace the pump. (I really hope you are at least trying to pump! Don't give up! Stick with it! Hang in there... although I know the ladies are hanging out there! It's what's breast! Okay, off soapbox now.)
17. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It doesn't mean you can't do something. It just means you can't do it all, and you can't do it all right now. If anything, asking for help is a sign of strength. It signifies that you recognize a need in your life and you are unafraid to approach that need head-on. It shows you are in control instead of spiraling out of control. Delegation. Like a Boss!
18. Don't be a button-pusher. No one likes a button-pusher! Just picture a kid in an elevator... When you're angry or frustrated, it's easy to do or say something to send someone else over the edge. Don't be that person. Zip it. Suck it up. Let it go.
19. If all else fails: bubble bath, glass of wine (just one if you are breastfeeding,) and a good book or movie. Glossy magazine? Trash tv? Or whatever it takes to help you unwind. I like a good bowl of ice cream, myself.
20. This too shall pass. Just remember, this situation is only temporary. Be patient. Every day is another day closer to discharge and going home with your little munchkin. Stay positive. It all works out in the end.
No comments:
Post a Comment