Kindness Convoy

Love Dare, Day 2: Love is Kind

Yesterday's post compared love to a battlefield.  After starting the Love Dare with my husband Matt, I realized that my "house of love" was a figurative war zone (as observed in all of the "little things") and the imagery seemed appropriate.  If you want to improve the relationships in your life, particularly with your spouse, and also viewed love as a battlefield in your own home, then hopefully you are starting to wave your white flag in surrender.  Hopefully you are starting to practice patience in your home, and in your life.  Hopefully you, too, are starting to let go of the little things.

In thinking of patience as "reactive," protective gear to keep negative situations from happening and becoming life threatening, you can think of kindness as a convoy that is "proactive"... in that, kindness moves forward to significantly increase positive scenarios.  Perhaps the aftermath of casualties could be minimized drastically if you hopped in the hum-v and were the first to arrive in the kindness convoy.

Kindness is planting seeds of hope with those you have "been at war" with.  It encourages new beginnings and the possibility for a brighter future.  It encourages others in your life to act in kindness as well.  How does one act kindly?  They discuss 4 core points in "The Love Dare."  1. Be gentle (acting mild or kind in nature).  2. Be helpful (beneficial).  3. Be willing  (agreeable and giving).  4. Take initiative (hop to action first).  Don't wait for those you love to act in kindness first, or you might be waiting forever.  Let your defenses down and pave the way, if you show them kindness, perhaps they will step-up and reflect kindness back to you.

Scripture referenced in the text ("The Love Dare," Day 2: Love is Kind) which I think says it best:
"Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you" (Ephesians 4:32)

"Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.  So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man" (Proverbs 3:3-4).

Scripture I found: "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity" (Colossians 3:12-14).

My journal entry from Day 2:
I observed Matt was already acting in kindness.  He started doing things around the house that I normally have to beg him to do, or remind him constantly to do at the least.  But he was already doing these things without me asking.  I found, too, that the other things he forgot to do... didn't even bother me.  Normally these things would have caused me to get irritated, but I found myself doing them for him out of love.  I wasn't flipping out over the little things.  Love succeeds!   As I acted in love with patience and kindness, I found myself actually enjoying the mundane tasks of daily life.  Normally, I'd hem-and-haw over them.  I might even complain.  Those negative thoughts never entered my mind or heart.  I've also noticed that our last two days have been filled with more "please" and "thank yous" than ever before!  Also, we spent more quality family time together today.  Part of the day's dare was (in addition to remaining patient) to give one unexpected act of kindness to your spouse.  Our gifts, gestures, where more beautiful and meaningful than they have ever been in the past.  (Matt cooked dinner for me.  I enjoy cooking, but I love it when someone else does all of the work!  Haha!  To me, this act of kindness was like being given a handful of diamonds!  I gave him a back massage.  Fingertips on skin speaks his language of love!)  God is really starting to fill our hearts with unconditional love!

Although this was a wonderful day, it wasn't completely perfect.  We did have a few minor setbacks in patience.  But we immediately recognized and corrected our behaviors and the situations.  We are becoming more aware, and that is good as it will help us to act first in love in the future.

Matt's journal entry:
"I asked Courteney what she wanted for dinner tonight, and I cooked for her.  I hope I can do this for her more often.  I was tested in patience twice today, and failed the second test.  I apologized.  I tickled Court today, and she didn't get mad."

(Yeah, okay.  I HATE being tickled.  But in that particular instance, I was just so happy to receive loving, fun attention that for once it didn't bother me!)

Matt and I waved our white flags of surrender.  We are meeting each other half-way again, instead of waiting on the other to act first.  We are shaking hands and calling a truce to this love battle... we didn't even know we were fighting.  When we compare the last two days to the last several years... the difference in finding unconditional love and acting on it is amazing.  We loved each other before.  But it feels like we are dating again, and that kind of love is fun and rewarding... and it should never be in only the beginning of your relationship.  Unconditional love is something you should PRACTICE every day for the rest of your life!  (Remember standing at the alter and making that promise?  Yeah, actually try keeping it and see how your life at home in love will be rewarded!)

Again, hope this helps!

"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted."  AESOP